KATE:
"It was right outside this metaphysical book store. I thought it could be a sign. Lately, I seem to look for signs. The closer I get to menopause, the more metaphysical I'm becoming. Oh I had no idea who it belonged to. Anyone living in that neighborhood had reason to want to end it all. Cheers.

(Again laughs, attempting to be light)

When I was in L.A. I found this suicide note in the street...where my aerobics class is. I don't know why I picked it up. You know it's more my nature to step over things… I felt so sad at what she'd written in the note, but I felt even worse when I realized that losing the note could only add to her feelings of low self-esteem, further evidence she could never do anything right. I should imagine there's only one thing more depressing than writing a suicide note, and that's losing the one you've just written….

What is it about this phantom person that is so compelling? She seemed so fragile and yet, courageous, too. Ironically, there is in this suicide note more feeling, more forgiveness, more capacity for life... Whatever this person is, or was, she was not jaded. She was not bored. If she ever did commit suicide, it would be out of feeling too much, not too little.

(Pause, reflects, not sure what she means)

There's hardly a trace of bitterness or self-pity or petty anything. Her only real complaint is something she calls "This business of false hopes". That's really something, don't you think? I mean, in writing a suicide note the real person must come out. I tell you there's nothing dramatic, no big tragedy, no terminal illness it seemed, just a lifetime of

being...

(Pause)

dismissed....by everyone apparently.

(Pause)