"As I was leaving to come to the Un-Club tonight, my gramdmother speck said, 'As long as you're going out, take out the trash.' I look around the room. I see her seashells shadow box and her lima bean and split pea mosaic and decoupage hanging over granddaddy speck's Berkline recliner rocker, the kind they give away on game shows. I see her imitation Early American maple coffee

table in the shape of a wagon wheel. I see her salt and pepper shaker collection on the simu-Early American knickknack shelf. I see this wrought-iron lamppost with this ceramic drunk leaning against it. I see it, but I don't believe it. Take out the trash? I wanted to say, 'I wouldn't know where to begin.' "