"I feel such a rush of positive 'woman-energy'. When women get equality...social and economic equality, ah, there'll be no more wars."
hey, whatta ya say, ratify the ERA.
What a night that was... "Women's Strike for Equality." 1970.
My best friends Edie and Marge and I were there that August, marching with 50,000 others down Fifth Avenue. We thought we were going to change it all. "The power of our Sisterhood. Oh I feel such a rush of positive 'woman-energy'."
"Democratic National Convention...1984. "
( FERRARO V.O.) Ladies and gentlemen of the convention, my name is Geraldine Ferraro.
"What a night that was..."
"Women want to live together in harmony with each other, with men, with nature, with all indigenous peoples. Sisters, this is about moving the whole species forward, not just half."
"Then someone very attractive came over passing out candles. Janet was an artist from the Woman's Building. She was wearing Indian cotton drawstring pants, Birkenstock sandals and a "Lesbians Ignite" tee-shirt. She'd made the candles herself. Not the usual phallic shaped. They were formed like a beautiful labia majora. Very nice. The wick, Edie pointed out, symbolized a tampon string. Ah, maybe it was my break up with Peter or maybe I just felt like widening the parameters of my sexuality. Janet turned out to be a regular 'Don Juanita'. She loved to make love and when she got tired, she had an old vibrator that would heat up to such an extent, I'd have to get up, go in the kitchen to get an oven mitt."
"Oh, Edie, I'm so glad it's you. I need you to call Marge, maybe get togetherÉshe sounded so down. I had to cancel lunch on her, it's been a terrible day. I just fired Chrissy. Can you use someone with no skills?"
"We smoked some paraquat-free Panama Red. Bob gave me a Shiatsu massage. He knew I had seminar stiffness. We made love, and then talked into the night about futurism and ending world hunger through tofu consciousness. We made love again. We talked until dawn exchanging Patty Hearst theories. By morning, we were in love."
"Honey, whatever it is, Bob, it's the perfect wedding gift because it comes from you. What is it? A Geodesic Dome Home? Kit? We have to build it ourselves? But Bob, you've been working on that Samadhi tank since before we met and it still leaks... It was the first squelching thing I'd ever said to Bob."
"I worry sometimes, maybe Bob has gotten too much in touch with his feminine side. Last night, I'm pretty sure he faked an orgasm."
Bob) "You expect too much of me. It's one thing to be a modern housewife,
career woman, mother. I could handle being modern. Modern is popping a frozen
dinner into the microwave. I said, take your bats and go outside. But modern
isn't good enough for you. I have to be organic, holistic, learn millet recipes,
make beet juice, wait around for sourdough to rise.
It just so happens the last sourdough we had was not sourdough - it was Play Dough. And we didn't even notice the difference, Bob. So much for conscious cooking."
Bob) "I know that you're involved with someone. I tore up the letter.
(Angry and hurt) Who is it? Is it that check-out girl at the Health-Mart? I should've known you couldn't have that many Aikido classes each week. Who is it?!! (Subdued, sad) Oh I can just imagine what she's like. If she knows Aikido, she probably knows the Kama-Sutra. You're probably having this great tantric sex thing. (Bitter) I'm sure she's more evolved than I am, isn't she? More centered! Isn't that their big thing, centered-ness? (Takes karate pose) I wish I'd been taking Karate classes; I would love for these hands to be weapons. She probably has time to make good money and to meditate. Don't tell me her tofu tastes like lasagna. She knows what shape face she has and where she's going and how to get there neatly. Feel free to interrupt me at any time."
"But, Doctor, Pre-Menstrual -Syndrome? I'm getting divorced. My mother is getting divorced, I'm raising twin boys, I have a lot of job pressure - I've got to find one. The ERA didn't pass, not long ago I lost a very dear friend, and the woman my husband...is in love with is quite a bit younger than I am....And you think it's my period and not my life?"
"At some point, they looked at one another, realized that there were two of them and only one of me. It got so bad, I'd brew up 'Sleepy Time' herb tea, pour it over ice, serve it in Spiderman glasses. "It's a new flavor Kool-Aid." Imagine my guilt as I watched their little heads nod out."
"If I'd known this is what it would be like to have it all, I might have been willing to settle for less."
"I took the boys to see Santa Claus. When Santa Claus asked Robert what he wanted for Christmas, Robert said, "A nuclear freeze." And then McCord yanked Santa's beard off and said, "What animal got killed for this?"